In his letter to the church in Philippi which he wrote in prison, the Apostle Paul clearly indicated that he had discovered the secret to contentment: "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Phil 4:11-12).

Lesson # 1: Life is difficult.

Paul was not dependent on getting what he wanted in order to be content and free from anxiety. It was not a matter of circumstances. It obviously took some mental and spiritual training, a kind of divinely designed bootcamp-- that which required hunger, need, and all kinds of difficulties (including persecutions, beatings, and being imprisoned)-- in order to learn this secret.

This then should be our first lesson... an easy life cannot teach us how to be content. Spoiled children never end up being happy because the reality of life difficulties will eventually set in and they will not be prepared for it. I refer you here to the first chapter of the book by M. Scott Peck, "The Road Less Traveled" where he emphasizes the need to get past denial and to accept the reality that life is indeed hard.

Furthermore, no one of wisdom is likely to doubt the truth that we all have weaknesses and that we live in a dangerous world where no one is perfect or 100% trustworthy. Therefore, it makes complete sense that we would be insecure and subject to anxiety, worry, and fear... the opposite of inner peace and contentment.

However, as we will see, being content doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you have decided to see beyond the imperfections to the One who will perfect all things when the time is right.

Lesson # 2: Thou Shalt Not Worry.

And yet in Matthew 6 we hear the Lord Jesus teaching the people to stop worrying and in John 14 He tells His disciples to receive His peace, which is not that temporary thing one might achieve briefly with worldly fame and fortune. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:27). This last sentence is in fact a command, much as is Paul's "be anxious for nothing." I call it the 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Worry. Making this a priority is the second lesson to discovering Paul's secret.

Lesson # 3: God is faithful.

Paul also wrote about the "fruit of the Spirit" in Galatians 5. The fruit included inner peace and joy, as well as patience. We are supposed to be growing these "fruit," which are the results of God's grace in our spiritual life such that they end up overtaking and overcoming all fear and agitation.

The only fear that God promotes is that initial fear of His Almighty power and demands for sinless perfection... that leads to our repentance... and ultimately also leads to trust and love for Him (where the fear disappears). "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). So it is not God who causes us to be anxious and fearful. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control" (2 Tim. 1:7).

This protection against fear requires our full acceptance of the fact that what really matters in life is not what we do but instead it is God's commitment to us:. "The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it" (1 Thes 5:24). Real faith is trusting in God's faithfulness... and this then allows the Spirit to guide us into truth as well as obedience. In Philippians 4, Paul proclaims, "I can do all things necessary through Him who gives me strength" (verse 13), and Paul sees this as continuing in all believers until God takes us home: being "confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion." (Phil 1:6).

"To commit oneself to God is to make oneself an instrument of His peace.
In acting for Him we do not have so much time to worry about ourselves.
In the end, we may cease to worry about ourselves altogether." (Alan Paton)

Even the frequently quoted verse Philippians 2:12 where Paul says to "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" is followed immediately (in verse 13) with "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." That 'fear and trembling' has but one purpose... and that is to motivate us to start relying upon God instead of ourselves. Of course, we will tremble with fear if everything depends on us! Trusting in the Lord (and not ourselves or other people) is the crucial third lesson required to learn Paul's secret. See Proverbs 3:5-6 for further confirmation.

Lesson # 4: Serenity is a choice and can be learned.

Now that we have examined the spiritual underpinnings of contentment and inner peace, let's look at some of the practical considerations to achieving this goal.

The terms "attitude" and "serenity" have become quite popular in our culture... and for excellent reasons. In the fourth chapter of Philippians Paul makes the connection between this goal of serenity (the 'peace of God') and our chosen 'attitude of gratitude', our prayer life, and our habits of thinking.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your attitude be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." (Phil 4:4-9)

Here is a brief summary of eight important principles we can gain from all of Philippians, chapter four.

1) We can choose to rejoice, and it is entirely appropriate to do so (verse 4).
2) We can choose to remember God's presence (verse 5b).
3) We can turn every worry into prayer (verse 6).
4) We can choose to count our blessings (verses 6-7).
5) We can focus on the positive in life and to avoid dwelling on the negative (verse 8).
6) We can learn from mature godly teachers and follow their example (verse 9).
7) We can refuse to let circumstances control our attitude (verses 11b-12).
8) We can trust God rather than ourselves or others (verse 13, cf. Psalm 118:8-9, 146:2, 4; Proverbs 3:5-6)

So as we can see, much contentment results from our mental choices. We can continually make that "choice to rejoice" and we can develop habits of positive thinking... always seeking to discover what good can come out of any bad situation, knowing that faith can move mountains. We can also choose to focus on those things where we have been given some responsibility to make the situation better, and to prayerfully let go of those things over which we have no power to change. Reinhold Niebuhr's famous "Serenity Prayer" is always instructive:

O GOD,
GRANT TO ME
THE SERENITY
TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,
THE COURAGE
TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN,
AND THE WISDOM
TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE;

LIVING ONE DAY AT A TIME,
ENJOYING ONE MOMENT AT A TIME;

ACCEPTING HARDSHIP
AS THE PATHWAY TO PEACE;

TAKING, AS JESUS DID,
THIS SINFUL WORLD AS IT IS,
NOT AS I WOULD HAVE IT;

TRUSTING THAT HE WILL MAKE
ALL THINGS RIGHT
IF I SURRENDER TO HIS WILL;
THAT I MAY BE REASONABLY HAPPY
IN THIS LIFE,
AND SUPREMELY HAPPY
WITH HIM FOREVER IN THE NEXT.

Amen!

Lesson #5: When you are laughing, you are not worrying.

As a therapist I have frequently seen how valuable it is to develop a sense of humor about our own foibles and about the many absurdities present in human society. In other words, perceiving the positive is also about observing what is laughable in both ourselves and in our crazy world.

"Good humor keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time." (Proverbs 17:22, TEV)

"Laughter has been implanted in our souls that the soul may sometimes be refreshed." (St. John Chrysostom)

"Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused." (old English saying)

Bruce Atkinson is a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary with a PhD in clinical psychology and an MA in theology. He earned an MS in research psychology from Illinois State University, a BA from Beloit College, and is a Veteran of the U.S. Air Force including a year in Vietnam. He is a Licensed Psychologist in clinical practice in Atlanta, Georgia and is a member of the Anglican Church in North America. He is also Moderator and a frequent contributor to VirtueOnline.