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Rwanda Anglican Archbishop Advises Anglicans on Marriage
By Godfrey Olukya
VOL African Correspondent
www.virtueonline.org
September 13, 2020
Commitment is at the core of a successful and lasting marriage, Rwandan Archbishop Laurent Mbanda has advised.
According to New Times, the government newspaper, he said in a media message that the 36 years he has been married to his wife, commitment has been the core facet that has held their union together.
He advised Anglicans that whereas love is an important aspect in the foundation of marriage, commitment is at the core of a successful and lasting union.
He said, "Resilient marriages are built on honesty, commitment, respect and forgiveness. However, my strong bias is on commitment because it helps couples not to waver through difficult times. I can be angry and do whatever I want, but I know that I am tied to that commitment I made and that inspires me to even say I am sorry forgive me.''
He said to married couples, there should be commitment to each other until death parts them.
He highlighted that whereas love is important for marriage, deciding to stay married is a determination and should be more than a feeling since feelings come and go with circumstances.
"I say this from experience because even in my marriage, we have gone through some difficult times. I have been married for 36 years and everything I experience is not always rosy, but I am committed to the marriage regardless of what happens. We are committed to each other and when you have this nothing can tear you apart," the Archbishop shares.
Mbanda noted that one of the things that tears couples apart is dishonesty.
"If a man or woman lies to the other, it is a very difficult thing to repair until you open up, repent and ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is also key to marriage."
He encouraged couples to love each other unconditionally noting, however, that this kind of love can only come to us from God.
Mbanda is also against the mentality that some young people tend to carry into marriages, thinking that if it doesn't work, they can walk away.
He said that even relationships are hard. At times when someone makes you unhappy, some walk away because they don't have the patience of wanting to work things out, but this is because they have not committed yet.
"What you feel for someone when you first meet could change, but when your love is inspired by God and based on Christian values, your relationship can last."
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