You are here
SELF-KNOWLEDGE : John 2:24,25
By Ted Schroder,
July 13, 2014
Man never attains to a true self-knowledge until he has previously contemplated the face of God. The knowledge of God and the knowledge of ourselves are bound together by a mutual tie. (John Calvin)
I was asked to contribute to a book on church life in my home town for its 150th anniversary. I was asked to describe what it was like growing up in my church in 10,000 words or less. When you write a memoir the difficulty lies in what to include and what to omit. Recently I read an autobiography by Stanley Cavell, Professor of Aesthetics and the General Theory of Value, Emeritus at Harvard University, entitled, Little Did I Know: Excerpts from Memory. The title is insightful – when we look back on our lives we realize how little we knew. An attempt to tell our story results in excerpts from memory. A reviewer describes it as “a great work of self-examination. Cavell’s work has always been about the complexity of human life.”
Our memory is selective because our self-knowledge is selective. There is a difference between how we see ourselves and how others see us. How much do we want to reveal about ourselves, and how much do we know about ourselves that we can reveal. How honest can we be without hurting others. We have blind spots. We have prejudices. We have memories that are painful that we would rather forget. Cavell wrote; “Trying to fall asleep last night I realized that if I had wished to disperse the bulk of the terrible things I know about myself, and the shameful things I have seen in others, I would have tried writing novels in which to disguise them. (Cavell, op.cit. p.5) I believe I can date the moment at which I realized that my father hated me, or perhaps I can more accurately say, wished I did not exist… This is the moment I described as dating my knowledge that my father wanted me dead….I feared and hated my father.” (p.14)
Thankfully not everyone has this knowledge. Many people grew up in secure homes with loving parents. Their memories are of sunshine and light with pleasant and affirming relationships. But even this does not always last. Tragedy strikes. Families disintegrate. Friends and relatives we counted on disappoint us. Those we thought trustworthy are revealed as unreliable. We are abandoned when we need them most. They prove to be fair-weather friends. When we were prosperous and successful they were glad to be associated with us, but when the hard times came, they deserted us. That is why Jesus was suspicious of those who were attracted to him because of the miraculous signs he was doing, and who professed to believe in his name.
“Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. He did not need man’s testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man.” (John 2:24,25)
This reveals our knowledge about Jesus, his knowledge of us, and our need for self-knowledge.
Firstly, our knowledge about Jesus
Who is this man who did not need man’s testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man? This man Jesus has a special gift of discernment. We see it is action in his encounter with the woman at the well who told all her neighbors, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.” (John 4:29)
The Messiah was prophesied that: “The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him – the Spirit of wisdom and understanding…” (Isaiah 11:2)
The appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord to Ezekiel in a vision included wheels intersecting wheels whose rims were full of eyes all around. (Ezek.1:18) They represented the All-seeing nature of God – God’s omniscience – God’s Intelligence.
The four living creatures in this vision and that of John’s in Revelation, representing all of creation, who were “covered with eyes, in front and in back.” (Revelation 4:6) Nothing escapes their attention.
If Jesus knows all men it is because he is God in the flesh possessing the ability to discern our hearts, for: “The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.” (Prov.15:3)
That knowledge of us enables the Savior to come to our need: “The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” (2 Chron.16:9)
Do you believe that Jesus is the Omniscient One, who sees everything? How does that make you feel about him? Do you find it reassuring, comforting or threatening? Why?
Secondly, Christ’s knowledge of us.
It tells us that he knows each of us individually. “When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, ‘Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false.’ ‘How do you know me?’ Nathanael asked. Jesus answered, ‘I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.’ Than Nathanael declared, ‘Rabbi, you are the Son of God, you are the King of Israel.’” (John 1:47-49)
Jesus knows our struggles, our fears, our motivations, our secret sorrows, our hidden shame, our longings, our weaknesses, our potential. He knows the pain that we have experienced. He knows us better than we know ourselves. That is why we pray for his discernment and guidance. He knows the temptations that assault us. He knows when we have been led astray from his way for us. He offers us his guidance. He will lead us in the paths of righteousness for his names’ sake. He knows our situation and he knows the solution to our problems.
“All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart.” (Prov.21:2)
“All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.” (Prov.16:2)
How does Christ’s knowledge of you affect your prayers? How does it affect your stewardship? How does it affect your choices, your decision-making, how you treat others?
Thirdly, our need of self-knowledge
We need his insight so that we may be able to know ourselves and our true needs. We are blind to ourselves. Our condition apart from Christ is perilous. “Their thinking became futile, their foolish hearts were darkened.” (Rom.1:21)
How many in our time possess passion enough to reflect….and then judge themselves aright? In the dark depths of man there slumbers so much of which he would rather not be conscious. Therefore we do not want to come to ourselves, and the distracting busyness of social life is to us a welcome hindrance from coming to ourselves.” (S. Kierkegaard, Fear and Trembling)
Lack of self-knowledge leads people to seek counseling. Stanley Cavell entered psychoanalytic therapy twice when his first marriage was failing and he was unable to complete his doctoral dissertation. Being able to talk with someone who can prayerfully explore and identify our issues objectively can be a great help. The Gospels claim that we are like blind men who are seeking to be healed and have our sight restored. (Matt.9:27-34) We need the touch of Christ, through the power of his Spirit so that we may see more clearly our need and Christ’s provision for our need.
“For who among men knows the thoughts of man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.” (1 Cor.2:11,12) Let this be our prayer: “Search me, O God, and know my heart today; Try me, O Savior, know my thoughts I pray. See if there be some wicked way in me; Cleanse me from every sin, and set me free” (Psalm 139:23, J. Edwin Orr)
(Ted’s blog is found at www.ameliachapel.com/blog. His books are found on www.amazon.com. SOUL FOOD: DAILY DEVOTIONS FOR THE HUNGRY, Vol.3, July, August and September is now available. You can order by replying to this email.)
