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A Satirical Essay

By David W. Virtue, DD
May 6, 2021

NEWS ITEM: Jayne Ozanne, a leading Church of England lesbian believes the Church should have a "lesbian day of visibility."

VOL: Thank you, Ms Ozanne for sharing this vital news with the Church of England, indeed with all global Anglicans. This is undoubtedly a woke moment never to be forgotten or remembered. Do you think that J C Ryle, Hooker, Cranmer and other less enlightened folk would have yearned for this day?

OZANNE: Without doubt. They may well have been praying for this day up there in heaven. God only knows, and only She does, what a proud moment in ecclesiastical history this is. One of the critical things, I believe, is for more lesbian women to become far more visible and to speak out about their experiences. That is why I am so keen to support #LesbianVisibilityWeek.

VOL: Why is this more necessary than a (male) homosexual day of visibility, Black day of visibility, Autism day of visibility, or Downs Syndrome day of visibility?

OZANNE: They don't matter as much as being lesbian. This is about identity and my identity is wrapped up in my desire to engage sexually with women.

VOL: Do you have a partner?

OZANNE: No, but I'm looking. Look, lesbianism is not a new thing -- it has just been far more covered up, due to cultural taboos and the dominance of patriarchal power structures that have subjugated women throughout the ages and kept them "in their place", or worse, just out of sight.

VOL: You are saying that you are a special breed of sinner that requires and needs its own recognition?

OZANNE: We are not sinners, only in a general sense. Given we understand that the Anglican Communion might break over "it", that the Church of England faces a split over "it" and I cannot get ordained because of "it", what actually is "it" for a lesbian like myself?"

VOL: Repentance, perhaps!

OZANNE: That's a hate crime statement and I am going to report you. We are a force to be reckoned with and we will not be silenced.


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