And I was fine through it all. I find that remarkable because I am not in the least a brave man. I got through it, thanks to doctors, nurses, hospital staff, people I love and that love me, even those I don't know and their prayers. Still, there was a point at which I felt alone, except for the knowledge that God, seemingly silent at the time, was with me. I think most of us, if we have lived at all, have faced trials and challenges, tribulations. Some have faced daily hardships beyond our reckoning, and have done so with great courage, not knowing where the courage comes from, or what gives them the strength to carry on.

It is at points in our lives like this that we become aware God is very much beyond ourselves and not a genie to be conjured up. These are experiences transformed by faith acting as a bridge between where we are and whatever happens. In these times we may not be able to see beyond what is happening to us, but are certain all things are working to the Glory of God.

Mary Magdalene must have faced just such a situation on her visit to the tomb of Jesus after his death. "Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance." (Jn. 20:1) Jesus, whom she loved, had been killed. He had suffered terribly, and she knew it all first hand. The world had seemingly come to an end for her. They had hurriedly placed Jesus' body in a tomb; they had not even prepared the body properly for burial. It was horrible, tragic, beyond words, or emotions. There was only the numbness, the shock, and overwhelming horror.

In what must have been a period of despair and hopelessness, emphasized by the darkness of the very early morning, Mary set out to tend to Jesus' body, to visit the tomb. What was Mary thinking? She knew that guards would be watching the tomb; she knew that they would have people watching the streets to see that none of Jesus' followers would try to steal the body. She could be put on trial, face maybe even death. Yet she set out. Even if she were to get to the tomb, this woman alone, how would she move the stone? It had taken strong men to place the tomb in place, it was sealed. What would she do? She went on to face what she must face, to tend to Jesus. She knew, somewhere within herself, that she just had to be there, so she went. God must have seemed very quiet at the time, yet she moved closer to whatever was to be faced.

Miraculously, Mary made it to the tomb without being stopped. There were no guards, they had fled. The stone was removed from the entrance to the tomb. She would learn that Jesus had risen from the dead. All that she had worried about, all the scenarios she had worked up in her mind, the fear, all of it, had been taken care of by God. Even though silent, God was at work in ways that Mary could never have thought or dreamed.

God is with us. Even when He seems distant, even silent -- He is with us, working to bring us, and all things to Himself. In our numbness, fear, when we are overwhelmed, He is there. Just as God removed the stone from the tomb, he can, and is, removing the obstacles before us -- though we may not see or discern Him, nor understand what or how He is at work.

Just as God took the dead and raised Him, that same power is at work in us, transforming us, making us whole, raising up our spirits, our hearts, and minds, sustaining us in despair, giving us "a certain hope." The Long night is over, Christ our Lord is raised from the dead, Alleluia.

----The Rev. Dr. Walter Van Zandt Windsor is rector at Trinity Episcopal Church. He has served churches throughout Mississippi, Alabama, and is presently rector of Trinity Episcopal Church in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. This June sees the celebration of his 25th year as a priest. He has a wife, Harra, and two sones, Dickson(13) and Walter (10).