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Screwtape Proposes an Episcopal Toast

Screwtape Proposes an Episcopal Toast
(With apologies to C.S. Lewis)

By David W. Virtue, DD
June 3, 2017

My Dear Wormwood,

The antics of the Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby never ceases to amaze us. He grows more belligerent against his orthodox wing while giving a pass to sodomites in his own church. Some of his former friends say he is becoming a thug in dealing with people who disagree with him. His evangelicalism is clearly skin deep. He seems to be resembling that Trump fellow who can't seem to stand any opposition either. Our Father below is beginning to think that the Arian Rowan Williams and the evangelical Welby are not as far apart as first thought. Both want unity at any cost, including apparently, the truth.

Both men were and are driven by the need to keep the Anglican Communion together in the name of a faux reconciliation, the Truth be damned. It's not working of course and the harder they try the worse it all becomes and the closer they come to us. Compromise is the rose-covered pathway that leads straight to hell. The backlash, which is inevitable, comes with emergent movements like Jesmond, the AMiE, the ACNA and GAFCON. Institutionalism is one of the great lies that keeps the lid on the hideous possibility of revival. Add a little royalty, ordain women bishops, add a touch of pomposity and Anglican clubbiness and the church continues its decline to perdition. It all works in our favor.

The endless desire to hold contradictory positions in tension in the name of good disagreement always plays into our hands. The orthodox will either be driven out or leave voluntarily, and revisionist leaders scream and have hissy fits about their failure to exercise generous orthodoxy and diversity. It's a game they play because they don't believe in absolute truth.

Our Father below positively chortles when he hears about another diocese selling off its assets in the name of its Mission to save the world when the truth is they can't even save themselves. The churches are running out of money, their parishioners are aging and dying with funerals outpacing the number of new communicants, baptisms and weddings combined. Nothing delights the heart of our Father more than to see a handful of aging congregants hobbling their way to communion rails while the young sit at home watching football, playing games on their phones and i-pads oblivious to the future that awaits them.

The High Council was contemplating how many more schemes Episcopal church leaders will employ to gin up their dying church. First there was the notion to double the church by 2020, an idea that has clearly failed. Then along came something called TREC that was designed to grow the Church, and now we have something called the Jesus Movement by this Curry fellow. The Council wonders how long the lunacy and lies will continue before it all explodes in their faces as churches wither and die and then sold off to Islamic groups and evangelical start up churches. Tinge the blindness with false hope and high talk of baptismal covenants, and they journey to us with even greater speed.

Curry almost had it right but just missed the mark. All his ranting and raving about racism and white privilege, real church stampede starters, will certainly fail. One can only imagine his embarrassment when he discovers that Millennials and Gen-Exers really don't give a damn about how he views gay marriage, trannie toilets and racism.

Liberals love to bleed and whine about the alleged hatred of homosexuals while blithely ignoring the gaystapo tactics and fascist rage of pansexualists when they cry homophobia against anyone who dares to say, "the Bible says", or raise the health risks of a behavior that includes higher than normal figures of alcoholism, drug abuse and suicide. 'Ignorance is bliss tis folly to be wise', apparently. That they garner so much misplaced compassion while Welby ignores the thousands of Anglicans being slaughtered in countries like Nigeria by Boko Haram and Fulani thugs is mind blowing even by our Father's standard of duplicity.

The Council especially likes all the talk of "mission" uttered by liberals and revisionists. It is a word without any real meaning, but they bandy it about as though by some miracle the world will sit up and take notice. The world doesn't care of course, it's all a nightmarish fantasy by Episcopal leaders wherein Hell awaits.

This Curry fellow has all the makings and markings of a circus barker, full of sound and fury signifying nothing, but Episcopalians love it because it is so different from the dry arid world of Sufi Griswold and Jefferts Schori.

The bishops they have been picking like Heather Cook, in the name of political correctness, staggers all belief and further plays into our hands. The drunken cyclist killer bishop of Maryland who couldn't even apologize or show an ounce of contrition or remorse, let alone repentance, blew our Father's mind. What barrel do they find to scrape to find these bishops, he asked? No one could give him an answer.

One of the most important things for our agents to exploit is money. The Episcopal Church still has lots of it and they can use it to manipulate African, Asian and Latino bishops and dioceses into accepting western pluriform thinking. Trinity Wall Street is our biggest sponsor of spin money. Make sure that no sliver of light enters the darkness of this church, they are strategic to our planning of manipulation and mayhem, and ultimately to our take-over of Africa.

Of course, it will impact pocket books when the Church Pension Fund discovers they can't take from dying parishes all the money needed to pay out the growing numbers of retirees. At least 3,000 priests will be forced to retire over the next five years. We can't wait for the wails and cries to be heard from those who poured out their lives to a spiritually defunct institution that saved no one and nothing and now expect fat pay checks in retirement.

Remember, Wormwood, the race is not to the swiftest. Think how long it took Louie Crew to work his charm over the bishops in the name full homosexual inclusion and how quickly the HOB rolled over. We are winning, we will win, but never underestimate the other side. We have seemingly won before but just in time to see defeat snatched from the jaws of victory. Meanwhile, though their resistance remains strong, we are pouring more agents into undermining the ACNA and GAFCON.

I remain,

Your affectionate uncle,


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