"On another occasion I allowed a convicted and defrocked pedophile Episcopal priest to conduct spiritual retreats - two of them in an Episcopal facility with my blessing. To be truly inclusive we must be open about God's mission to absolutely everybody."

The Presiding Bishop pooh-poohed the 74th General Convention's passage (overwhelmingly) of resolution B008 titled "Protect Children and Youth from Abuse".

"This resolution is like DOMA and must be repealed, it has gone the way of the Dodo bird," opined the Presiding Bishop.

"We are an inclusive church," commented former New Hampshire Bishop Gene Robinson. "I am overwhelmed at the forgiveness of God. What a magnificent person She is. Fr Bangerboy will be up for the job, I'm sure."

Questioned on the possibility of recidivism among pedophiles, Standing Committee officer Jeff Moretzsohn, from the evangelical but staid mainline Paoli congregation, the Church of the Good Samaritan said, "We will have to watch his movements for the first few months. Fr. Bangerboy has agreed to wear a criminal ankle bracelet to monitor his whereabouts, but we think that is a short term thing. He can't possibly be as bad as Bishop Charles Bennison whom I supported."

Members of the Standing Committee all agreed that forgiveness is the issue and God is Lord of the second chances, even for pedophiles even though there is a lot of evidence that he might regress and sexually abuse a young person again.

"He has agreed not to do confirmations, teach Sunday School and his Archdeacon will do all baptisms till we get the all clear which we think will come from above when the Holy Spirit wakes up and speaks to us," said another Standing Committee member.

A progressive priest, on hearing the news, said the Standing Committee took its cue from the recent killing of a cyclist by the drunken Suffragan Bishop of Maryland. "If the diocese can forgive her and she manages to get off with a legal slap on the wrist because she is an Episcopal bishop, then we know we are on the right track, anything is possible in TEC, and we still have a lot of money left for lawsuits if Fr. Bangerboy should regress. Of course we hope (and pray) that won't happen.

"We really had to scour the country looking for someone of his talent. We consulted the lesbian Bishop of Los Angeles Mary Glasspool and the head of Integrity, the unofficial pansexual Episcopal organization and while they recommended a transgendered priest from the Diocese of Massachusetts, we felt Fr. Bangerboy brought less sexual baggage to the altar and job. He'll be a great choice, we are all convinced of that."

The diocese did say they would be updating their insurance policies just in case.

END