You have considered the anatomical facts. But facts don't count. Only feelings do. "He" feels "he" is a "she". You must feel com-passion. You must have sym-pathy. Your "pathos" or "feeling" must be in syn-chronicity with the victim. The Grand Inquisitor commands you to feel the right feelings. Compassion is the supremely right feeling for you to feel in the brave new world of cultural Marxism.

If the objective facts of gender are now entirely subjective and fluid, why should it be any different for age? I am a 51-year-old man of Indian ethnicity with brown skin. But I feel like a 17-year-old adolescent of Anglo-Saxon ethnicity with white skin. Who are you to dispute my identity? Do you have no compassion?

You bigot, chauvinist, racist, sexist, ageist, xenophobe, homophobe, transphobe, Islamophobe! Dare to challenge me and I'll drag you before Grand Mufti Jeremy Paxman. He'll straighten out your warped sense of objective moral facts on ITV's The Agenda.

And who are you to decide who is a child or an adult? How dare you judge? How dare you question the moral integrity of a migrant? How dare you judge other cultures by your standards? In England, men may choose to shave after they've grown facial hair. In other cultures, children may choose to shave. Other cultures may have children who have evolved beyond the evolutionary development of Western children and are big in size and have facial hair. Have you never heard of Darwin? Have you never read Gulliver's Travels? Many of these children may well be escaping the bombing in Brobdingnag, you know? And they could be trans-agers--adults who believe they are children. Do you have no compassion?

It is, after all, Jeremy Paxman, who is seated at the right hand of God the Father, who has decided that compassion is the supreme virtue, the great commandment, and the moral trump card that trumps all other virtues.

Truth? What is truth? Don't confuse me with facts when I am overwhelmed with feelings. It doesn't matter if migrants lie and bleeding heart liberals welcoming them across the border collude with their lies. Doesn't your heart bleed for migrants? If it doesn't, you are a hard-hearted b*****d who has no compassion.

Fairness? Does it matter if children who are biologically under 18 are rejected because of "children" who have moustaches and beards and may even have fathered other children? Isn't it unfair to the real children who desperately need shelter and protection? Not if you have compassion.

Compassion is the moral trump card of Leftism. Paxman's question is a moral knuckleduster cleverly concealed under his boxing glove and used to punch his moral opponents in their goolies. A Christian evangelist asks his potential converts one question above all other questions: 'Are you saved?' A Leftie evangelist asks his potential opponent's one question above all other questions: 'Do you have no compassion?'

But, why, Mr. Paxman, should compassion be the supreme virtue? Why not justice or truth or goodness or fairness or love? Because, you fool, all these virtues require you to do something or to believe something. You can be just, true, good, fair and loving - and still not feel a thing.

Compassion makes you feel good about yourself. The other virtues may actually make you feel bad about yourself. Compassion only requires virtue-signalling. It is orthodoxy without orthopraxy. It is speaking in the tongues of men and angels (and BBC-ITV-Channel4-Guardian commentators) who have become as sounding brass or tinkling cymbal or cranky, crotchety leftist organ grinders.

Compassion doesn't actually require you to do anything--except to say or signal you feel compassion for migrants, women, minorities and victims who decide they want to be victims. If you are middle-class, white, and aspire to be virtuous, compassion is something you display as a dangling appendage like the latest fashion accessory you bought from Harrods.

If you really want to do something about it, there is so much you can do--you can tweet heartbreaking messages from Lily Allen or upload heartrending pictures on Facebook from Angelina Jolie. You can attend a rock concert by Bono. You can create a special Uber app for finding Lily Allen black cab drivers who will not call her a 'stupid tart' and tell her to 'find an immigrant who will drive you.' Or you can raise funds for Christian Aid or Oxfam selling tiny perfume bottles containing the tears of celebrities who shed tears for migrants.

St. Paxman, Patron Saint of Compassion, will bless you. He will welcome you into the Pearly Gates of Paxmanism. Please feel compassion for Paxman. Paxman is asking you for compassion. He is not asking you do anything. Compassion is a feeling. And cultural Marxism is all about feelings.

Statutory Warning [to be displayed in fine print only]: Exceptions to the Great Commandment of compassion include Jews killed or attacked by Muslims or Leftists, Christians killed or persecuted in Islamic countries or North Korea, unborn babies murdered by pro-choice feminists while still in the womb, and supporters of Donald Trump.

The Rev'd Dr Jules Gomes is pastor of St Augustine's Church, Douglas, on the Isle of Man.