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It's official: Episcopal Church's COO says Jefferts Schori has Abolished Sin

It's official: Episcopal Church's COO says Katharine Jefferts Schori has Abolished Sin

A Satirical Essay

By David W. Virtue
January 4, 2104

NEW YORK CITY, NY --- The Episcopal Church's COO, Bishop Stacy Sauls announced this week that Katharine Jefferts Schori, the church's Presiding Bishop, had "abolished sin" after well-known intellectual and gay theological heavy-weight Bishop Gene Robinson wrote that she had effectively done so through her words and beliefs.

The exchange took place following a meeting of Integrity, the rambunctious, noisy Episcopal Gay organization, following a night on the town (NYC) that was described by one participant as "a night of unbridled debauchery and lechery" in memory of the now deceased Bishop Otis Charles, the first outed gay TEC bishop.

The Episcopal News Service featured the story in a headline titled "Katharine's Revolution: She has abolished sin". Another cyber front page story "Otis Charles Rises from the Dead to Denounce Sodomy" was taken down fearing a backlash from HOB/D listserv and Integrity readers.

Former Newark Bishop John Shelby Spong applauded her theological bravery saying that she had broken down the middle wall of a partition that separated atheist from theist, agnostic from Gnostic, gay from straight, and bi-sexual from any other sexuality, as yet unnamed.

Speaking for herself, the Presiding Bishop said, "I no longer see the point of sin, it's all really rather passé and boring. The church has legitimized most forms of sexual expression so there is really no such thing as sexual sin unless of course you cheat on your wife with another woman and God help you then. Of course if it is with another man that's okay. We are a church of infinite inclusion. Think Bede Parry. Mind you if a corporation won't give its employees health care benefits because they can't afford it, all I can say is that they can expect the judgment of God to strike, probably after President Obama leaves office."

Jefferts Schori said she arrived at her view that sin effectively no longer exists because God's mercy and forgiveness are "eternal".

One orthodox bishop, the Rt. Rev. William Love of Albany told VOL that "this affirmation that Bishop Jefferts Schori has abolished sin" is wrong.

"Those who know their bibles know that sin exists and our repeated actions as sinners only confirm that. If the PB thinks she is without sin then she would be 'like God' knowing good from evil but abolishing the evil part." That's a non-starter, he said.

He went on to say that her spending of more than $22 million on property lawsuits is sinful, even evil, but would not go public with this suggestion as he might face presentment charges from a few clergy who have also abolished sin, having eliminated it from their sermons altogether.

There were other fears expressed by some that the Presiding Bishop is rumored to be on the brink of eliminating God altogether but that she fears a backlash from the Unitarian Universalist Association for copyright infringement.


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