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Canadian Anglican Bishop Blesses Gay Rainbow Crosswalk

Canadian Anglican Bishop Blesses Gay Rainbow Crosswalk

A Satirical Essay

By David W. Virtue, DD
October 12, 2021

NEWS ITEM: on September 1, The Reverend Jody Balint had the honour and privilege of blessing Port Colborne's new rainbow crosswalk, a symbol of diversity and inclusiveness for the area. The painting of the crosswalk was an initiative of the Downtown Port Colborne Business Improvement Association and supported by several partners, including St. James and St. Brendan's Anglican Church.

A Canadian Anglican Bishop said she blessed a gay rainbow crosswalk because she wanted fundamentalist and evangelical Christians to feel the pain of gays being walked over and to cease their homophobia.

"It gives me great joy to bless this crosswalk; we will forever walk where queers have walked, and where we straights have never gone and so fulfill the law of Christ," said Jodi Balint.

"I am hoping that by walking on a gay rainbow crosswalk we will understand how gays feel when they are walked on by straight folk."

The priestess said she was concerned that busloads of straight folk who drive over the rainbow crossing might contain homophobes.

LGBTQ leaders promptly responded saying they will issue passports for all people to cross the rainbow crosswalk just to be sure that homophobic types don't get clearance to walk all over us.

Newly elected Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said he would lead a delegation of liberal politicians to Port Colborne and walk in triumph over the crosswalk to establish that his government was inclusive, truly diverse and would jail anyone who did not share his views. He said he hoped a number of Canada's leading religious leaders would join him.

On hearing the news, Canada's Anglican Archbishop and Primate Linda Nicholls said she planned a synod resolution to have a rainbow crosswalk in every province so gays can be walked on.


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