When a person has taken up residence on their 'pity porch' and are immersed in their own misery, there is an inevitable loss of objectivity and perspective. Their negative and self-absorbed interpretation of their own suffering causes them to regress to an earlier age. They become like a pouting child-- if they cannot have what they want, then they don't want anything. This attitude can easily take an additional step: "If you won't make things be the way I think they should be, then I'll kill myself." Whether the victims realize it or not, this is what many suicides are communicating to God. Or, they communicate their belief that "I can't stand it", when in fact they have no idea how much they can stand.

In such a mental state, there is not only emotional pain but also anger and spite. When you add a sense of power over others ("I will show them and they can't stop me") the combination can lead to great evil, such as indiscriminate mass murder followed by suicide. "I will take as many with me as I can" is the result of the combination of despair, anger, and hate. This way of thinking is utterly Satanic as it exactly describes Satan's raison d'etre.

The suicidal person requires a large dose of positive 'medicines'-- faith, rational thinking, the healing of past emotional wounds, and learning to not take oneself so seriously. Therapy has been proven to be a life-saver for most people in such a mental and emotional state.

The Necessity of a Balanced Perspective

Robin Williams had a wonderful gift of making people laugh and this ability requires both high intelligence and also an accurate perspective (seeing the world as it is, but from weird angles).

William Hazlitt proposed that human beings are the only creatures that can both laugh and weep, because we are the only creatures who have been blessed and cursed with a special awareness; that is, we sense the difference between the way things are and the way they should be. Our capacities to laugh and to cry reveal sensitivity to the reality of a fallen world. This is why tragedy and comedy are so closely linked.

I think it was George Bernard Shaw who said that life does not cease to be funny when someone dies any more than it ceases to be tragic when someone laughs. And so we must both weep and laugh. A lot.

If we don't keep laughing, we can become sick, even sick to death. The book of Proverbs teaches us: "Good humor keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time" (Proverbs 17:22, TEV). I have no doubt that the causal factors in the suicide of Robin Williams were multiple and complex. He is likely to have suffered from bipolar disorder. Also, many things in life (fame, fortune) came so easily to him that he was 'spoiled'; he could not tolerate normal life difficulties. Other factors include his never having developed sufficient faith in God and his not getting the therapeutic help he needed. Another highly ironic contributing factor in the death of Robin Williams was the loss of his sense of humor. As the psychotherapist and philosopher Rollo May wrote: "Humor is a way of preserving the sense of self... It is the healthy way of gaining a distance between one's self and the problem, a way of standing off and looking at one's problem with perspective." Of all people, it is most strange that it was Robin Williams who lost that humorous perspective.

Reality Therapy

There are some harsh realities in life that many of us deny or at least avoid addressing directly. Life is hard, unjust, and at times even cruel-- and we all live under a death sentence. For most of us, there are times when we would just like to "hurry up and get it over with." However, in my counseling ministry, it is important to remind people of the more positive facts of life as well. When it comes to dealing with a person who is contemplating suicide, some common sense and a rational perspective can go a long way in helping a person to see the value of persevering through their difficulties. Here are a few examples.

"Life is difficult ... most do not fully see this truth ... instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly, about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties--- as if life should be easy. Once we truly understand and accept that life is difficult, we can begin to transcend it." -- M. Scott Peck

"One of the great advantages of pain and suffering is that it forces us to break through our superficial crusts to discover life on a deeper and more meaningful level. The avoidance of pain inadvertently closes the door to the life we are seeking at the deepest levels. A clenched fist cannot receive. Folded arms cannot embrace. Our resentment and our fear of pain blocks our ability to hear God speak within." -- Timothy Hansel

Here is why a rational perspective is such an important 'medicine' for a person who is suicidal: whatever terrible difficulty we are going through, the chances are that it is temporary, that we will recover from it and that life will get better eventually. The following are cliches but they are nonetheless true: "life is change" and "what goes around, comes around." The terrible situation is not likely to last; it may get a lot better. Unfortunately, it may get worse before it gets better. You've heard about the pessimist's thinking: "I said to myself, cheer up, it could be worse. And sure enough, it got worse."

But it just does not make sense to apply a "permanent solution" to a temporary problem. This is because a person cannot go back and change their mind if they make a fatal mistake. No Ground Hog's Day re-do is possible. Besides, just because a person feels like dying today does not mean that they will not find meaning and enjoyment in life tomorrow or at some time in the future.

I like to ask Christians who are contemplating suicide: Do you hate your life? Yes? Good! Jesus indicated that loving your life is a spiritual handicap. If you hate your life, if you are rejected and hurting, then you have an advantage according to the Beatitudes in Matthew 5. Blessed are those who mourn and are persecuted, for they will be looking forward to God's perfect Kingdom where there is permanent comfort and even glory. This world is not experienced as their home. Some of God's favorites hated their lives. Jonah wanted to die (Jonah 4:8) and as we would expect, so did Job (Job 7:15-16). The Apostle Paul wrote: "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21) and "we are confident and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord" (2 Corinthians 5:8). Wanting to die is not a sin.

But is suicide a sin? There is no clear teaching from the Bible about suicide per se. Most believers interpret the 6th Commandment (thou shalt not murder) to include one's own self. The point is that we do not belong to ourselves: "For none of us lives to himself alone and one of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord" (Romans 14:7-8). So suicide is the murder of a human creature made in God's image and there is certainly a commandment against that. In general, Scripture treats death to be an enemy that is to be limited as much as possible. The value of human life is great and its ending on earth is to be left in God's hands.

Some Christians even believe that suicide, if not truly repented while dying, is unforgiveable. I am not among those who believe this. Here is their favorite enigmatic passage found in 1 John 5:16-17: "If anyone sees his brother commit a sin that does not lead to death, he should pray and God will give him life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that he should pray about that. All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death." It is not certain that he is writing about suicide here.

Suicide in the Bible

"The fighting grew fierce around Saul, and when the archers overtook him, they wounded him critically. Saul said to his armor-bearer, "Draw your sword and run me through, or these uncircumcised fellows will come and run me through and abuse me." But his armor-bearer was terrified and would not do it; so Saul took his own sword and fell on it. When the armor-bearer saw that Saul was dead, he too fell on his sword and died with him." (1 Samuel 31:3-5)

Suicide has been a part human history since early times. There may be 7 examples in the Bible. Saul and his armor bearer (see scripture above), Abimelech (Judges 9:54), Ahithophel (2 Sam 17:23), Zimri (1 Kings 16:18), and of course Judas Iscariot in the New Testament. These six all killed themselves because they were disgraced by failure and/or would likely be killed anyway. However, it is interesting that the Bible records but does not clearly condemn any of these acts of suicide. The seventh example, which is that of the Samson (Judges 16:29-31), is more uncertain and debatable. Only the hero Samson's death is clearly presented positively-- he pulled a building down upon both himself and the enemy Philistines.

Theologians have tended to condemn Judas' suicide as indicating an unfaithfulness that went well beyond the act of betrayal itself. For unlike Peter, who humbled himself and repented after denying His Lord three times, Judas did not seem to expect God to forgive him; he didn't have the necessary trust in God's mercy. Perhaps Judas preferred to take on God's role as judge of himself. The gospel of Luke (22:3) also indicates that "Satan entered into Judas called Iscariot." We cannot know the extent that Judas willingly allowed Satan into his soul, nor can we know how much Satan was responsible for the suicide. But it does beg the question: How much is Satan responsible for any suicide?

The only other biblical references to the idea of suicide are these three: 1) Paul's stopping the jailer who was about kill himself when he thought that Paul and Silas had escaped (Acts 16), 2) a reference in the Book of Revelation (9:6) about some people in tribulation times who "will seek death but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them," 3) and Jesus Himself. Jesus was tempted by Satan (Matthew 4) to throw Himself down from the pinnacle of the Temple (thus, tempting God to save Him from suicide). Secondly, Jesus could have called down legions of angels and have easily stopped His own crucifixion, but He did not. Some regard this as an indirect form of suicide. This way of thinking also would have to include many of the martyrs, who could have prevented their own deaths by denying their faith. In my view, dying to save others and valuing one's loyalty to Christ above one's own life exemplifies the highest form of morality and godliness. Therefore these instances do not come close to fitting in the same category as suicide (a totally selfish act), but rather describe its opposite.

Concluding Thoughts

So we can assert that suicide is wrong...but in some cases forgivable. Only God knows the person's heart, the person's state of mind, and the person's life from beginning to end. Death-bed repentances are real; as they are dying some 'lost sheep' seek forgiveness and faith, and thus receive salvation. What this means is that in any particular case we cannot know the eternal outcome until we ourselves are on the other side. For now, we must simply leave it to God.

We do not help anyone by condemning a suicide once it has occurred. Suicides are truly tragic. There is no possibility of going back and repairing what was broken. However, we CAN help the living by discouraging suicide in general and by pointing to the true meaning of life-- and to a multitude of reasons to keep on living. We are all going to die sometime anyway, so why not make the best of our time on earth and leave our death to God's judgment?

If we kill ourselves to escape a painful life, what have we got to lose? Perhaps everything, including our own soul. There are eternal consequences for how we live and thus how we die. "It is appointed unto men once to die, and after that comes the judgment" (Hebrews 9:27 KJV). There are essentially only two places to go: with God or not. Descriptions of "not" include the "outer darkness, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth" or for children of devil there is the Lake of Fire where "the worm never dies." People cannot remain suicidal without denying, ignoring, or disbelieving the judgment aspect. For unbelievers, death only gets them "out of the frying pan and into the fire." Their suicide does not merit Rest In Peace. Atheists may believe that "when you're dead, you're dead" but that belief will not change the reality. The truth is, there is a Resurrection coming for all, some to eternal life with God and the rest to some kind of hell. As the scriptures regarding the future Resurrection and Judgment make clear, even death is not forever. "For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive... the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death" (1 Corinthians 15:22, 26 KJV). People who murder themselves will still be accountable.

But believers in Christ have the option of great hope. We must remember that whatever our hardships, they are always temporary and if we keep the faith and persevere, our rewards for going through them will be eternal.

Addendum:

Applicable Scriptures to Aid in the Prevention of Suicide among Christians

Note the passages below which remind believers of both the reality and the benefits of suffering in this life. Such truths can help us cope with our most difficult times and not lose hope. God promises us a safe landing, not a calm passage.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (Jesus, in John 16:33).

"All discipline for the moment is difficult and even painful, but to those who are trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness" (Hebrews 12:11).

"... we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:3).

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:6-7).

"He knows the way that I have taken; if He tests me, I will emerge pure as gold."
(Job 23:10)

As Christ identified with us through His suffering, so we get to identify with Him through ours: "In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering" (Hebrews 3:8-15). As we share in His suffering, so we also get to share in His eternal glory: "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal upon you, which comes for your testing, as if some strange thing were happening to you. Rather, accept your share of the sufferings of Christ and rejoice that at His appearing, you will share too in His everlasting glory" (1 Peter 4:12-13).

"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For this momentary affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. So we look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen, for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

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