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Secretary General calls for prayers for the Anglican Consultative Council

Secretary General calls for prayers for the Anglican Consultative Council

A Satirical Essay

By David W. Virtue DD
www.virtueonline.org
February 26, 2016

NEWS ITEM: The Anglican Consultative Council will meet in Lusaka for its 16th triennial meeting in April, and the Secretary General of the Anglican Communion, Archbishop Josiah Idowu-Fearon, is asking "all our members in every province, as well as our ecumenical partners, to join us in this prayer as we prepare for the meeting of this Instrument of our Communion."

The role of the Anglican Consultative Council (ACC) is to facilitate the cooperative work of the churches of the Anglican Communion, exchange information between the provinces and churches, and help to coordinate common action. It advises on the organization and structures of the Anglican Communion, and seeks to develop common policies with respect to the world mission of the church, including ecumenical matters.

Gracious and Heavenly Father,

We thank you for the opportunity to gather as a dysfunctional family broken and torn by unbiblical views on human sexuality. We know this offends You and we hope somehow we can parse that so The Episcopal Church can sit at the table and vote even though she has been asked to step back for three years and no longer be represented on ecumenical and interfaith bodies and not take part in decision making on any issues pertaining to doctrine or polity.

We thank you even though the GAFCON primates are not here because they feel betrayed and have no intention of being in the same room as TEC Presiding Bishop 'Don't Worry be Happy' Michael Curry, who talks endlessly about the Jesus Movement, but can't figure out how that fits into the Episcopal Church.

We thank you for his profound understanding of Evangelism and Racial Reconciliation going hand in hand, even though it means little more than proselytism and whacking White Privilege.

We ask that you will just wink and nod at our differences and pass them off as cultural, even though they violate your Holy Word. Most of us don't believe there is a Hell anymore, so it really doesn't matter what (the Hell) we believe as long as we are sincere....and you know how sincere we really are.

We want to thank you for the life giving means of support from Trinity Wall Street and The Episcopal Church that makes travel possible, and for the $400,000 TEC gives the ACC annually to keep us afloat and allows me to travel business class around the world.

We bless You for Your Church Universal called to represent You to the world, and our Communion as a part of that Church, even though most of the West doesn't believe the Gospel and wouldn't know your Son if they heard Him preaching the Kingdom, standing on a soap box in Hyde Park, London.

We praise you for the unity that you give to the Church, and we confess our faults that have created disunity. Really, Lord. We have had disunity for three decades and longer and repeated attempts to discipline The Episcopal Church have failed. They are still at the table writing out checks, so we really want to thank you for your efforts at doing nothing, so we don't have to kick the bastards out.

As we prepare for ACC-16 in Lusaka, we ask You, O Lord, that all who will represent their Provinces may be blessed with good health, holy wisdom and loving and healing words...and the ability to tell the truth, even when we know that won't happen and is totally impossible at this late stage, as GAFCON has been formed and the Jerusalem Declaration far outdistances any other document the liberal West could produce to counter it.

We give thanks and pray for Archbishop Albert Chama, the Bishops, and all our other brothers and sisters in the Province of Central Africa who almost rolled over, but got pulled back from the brink, as the only Anglo-Catholic Anglican Province in Africa, and that you will provide for all their needs as they prepare to host this meeting with help from TEC, whose delegates will need to drink bottled water or face getting diarrhea, or worse, and who will have forgotten to bring their Cipro with them. Lord spare them...or maybe not.

So may all that we think, say and do, echo our Lord's Prayer that Your will be done on earth (to TEC) and not in heaven where most of TEC's bishops will not be found.

We pray all these through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, or whoever is out their listening to us.

Amen

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