"I feel sure that with his radiating personality, his penchant for saying the right thing at the right time, his intellectual rigor and calmness, that we could strike a deal that would bring America back into the British fold especially as we have just withdrawn ourselves from the European Union and their economy and have a new go it alone mentality.

"My husband who is 95, and going a little potty, said he thought that it was a splendid move especially after the humiliating episode by that dreadful American divorcee Wallis Simpson who stole the heart of the Duke of Windshield, forcing him to abdicate his throne, a sad pathetic man who nearly ruined royalty forever.

"However we forgave him and we have moved on and so we believe it's is in our sovereign interest to invite America back in to the British fold despite all the scandals you have had of late, this can only be a move in the right direction and in the two nations best interest.

"Furthermore, you need never worry about nuking the Republic of Georgia or the State of Georgia because our military can always show Mr. Trump the difference on a map. We were never quite sure about that Palin woman had she been VP, as it might have been difficult to persuade her that what she was seeing from the White House was Northern Virginia and not the Soviet Union.

"We can also allay American fears about making America great again because England has always been great hence we are known as Great Britain so we know all about greatness, our judges still wear wigs in court a sign of their superior British intelligence.

"And when Mr. Trump comes, tell him that tea and crumpets are served at precisely 3pm and not to be late. He should bring his third wife Melanie and her twin sister as our Prince Harry is looking for a wife."

Respectfully yours,

Elizabeth (Regina)